I have found in the last year, that it is more difficult that I had ever dreamed of to be a step mother. While I don't consider myself a step mother, I am. When you are raising teenagers as a step mother, this shows you the invisible boundaries that exist. I think the hardest part, is that these two kids are used to the way things were before I came into the picture (they were molded already). Then I come into the picture and I like to run things a little different. It is not fun most days...I have to admit. I know they are teenagers, but they are also seeing how far they can push me as a mother, because those buttons are so much different, than that of my 21 month old.
There are so many days that I want to run into the closet and hide from everyone...but that is never the answer nor can it happen. I have recently begun to get involved in some Bible study groups and I believe that this helping me a lot, but I know that my buttons are still being pushed each and every day.
I love all my kids, but step children are really different and I will never be their mother...even if I do everything for them. One day they will come to realize, that I wasn't bad..I just wanted the best for them.
Our house is chaotic at times, but we do have rules and we have boundaries...just as I would if I had no step children in the house. I am not treating these children any different than my biological children.
Step parenting is hard and many people can say that they understand, but when they don't live in your situation...they truly can not understand what I am going through. Each step parent situation is different and there is not a manual to help us figure it out. There is not one for parenting in general..we need to just figure it out and maybe one day I will figure out..before I loose my mind. LOL!